Published on May 21st, 2012 | by Bobby Gardner0
Jason Dufner Wins 2012 HP Byron Nelson Classic
Sorry Dufner, no one cares that you won.
Irving, TX-Jason Dufner sank a 25-foot putt on the final hole Sunday for a one stroke victory at the HP Byron Nelson Classic. His narrow victory came on the heels of a literal Dicky Pride misstep. Pride’s foot slipped on his tee shot on the 18 th hole causing the ball to go offline and straight into the water. Sorry Dicky, it might be another 18 years before you win your second tournament with pressure cracking spasms like that.
By the way, Dicky Pride? That can’t be a real name. At what point in his life was it decided that the best nickname to be derived from Richard was Dicky? Not Rich, Richie, Rick, or Ricky…Dicky.! Dicky’s high school bully must be laughing all the way to his mid-level management position at Ethan Allen.
Dufner’s victory was not only overshadowed by hilarious names but also by some incredible shots including an ace on the par 3 fifth by JJ Henry (video above). That ace temporarily put Henry in the lead until he crapped the bed by finishing the round with a double bogey and bogey on the final two holes respectively. Sorry JJ, as Alec Baldwin said in one of my favorite screen adaptations of a David Mamet play, “Coffee’s for closers.” Dufner looked like Minnesota Twins closer Matt Capps, or as I like to call him, Fat Crapps(See what I did there?). You have to slam that door shut or you’ll end up at the bottom of the standings. But I’m not salty.
Dufner now leads all players in Fedex Cup points with his win this past weekend. He now holds a 40-point lead over Hunter Mahan. Come on Hunter. Make my dreams come true and change you last name to Mayhem. “A pack of roughneck deer killed his family and kidnapped his dog. One man who promised himself he would never fire a weapon again after the “doe” incident has to make a decision; become a priest or take his revenge. Hunter Mayhem stars as Shooter Chaos in Deer Kill! Revenge never tasted so gamey. Coming soon to a theatre!”
Next week is the Crowne Plaza Invitational at Colonial. Let’s see if “Mayhem” will ensue, or if Pride will show no Prejudice against the field. Did you see what I did there? Wordplay!!