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TIGER WINS! Ties Nicklaus' Record – Don't call it a comeback

TIGER WINS! Ties Nicklaus' Record – Don't call it a comeback

 

 

 

 

 

DUBLIN, Ohio-Tiger Woods won his 73rd career tournament today at the Memorial Tournament tying Jack Nicklaus for most tournament wins in PGA history. What makes this more amazing is Tiger is 10 years younger than Nicklaus was when he won his 73rd. His chip-in birdie on the 16th hole today made it all but official. I’m not an aficionado when it comes to shot difficulty, but that shot looked so flipping hard to get it anywhere near the hole. The fact that he holed it and then did his trademark Tiger fist pump literally made me loose my bowels.

Tiger came into the final round of the Memorial in striking distance of the leader, Spencer Levin. Fortunately for Tiger, Levin forgot that he was a professional golfer and shot a laughable 75 for the final round. He may as well have replaced his 6iron with an old rusty shovel because he probably could have gotten the ball closer to some of the par 3 greens with said shovel. Maybe Levin heard the roar of the crowd a few holes ahead of him or suddenly realized he was Spencer Levin because he started shaking and sweating like me waiting for a Dominos take out pizza after a hard day of sitting on my couch playing video games (10 minutes to cook a pizza is 3 minutes too long for a fatso in need of a scalding hot cheese fix.).

Woods had his own issues on Saturday. He was fighting a fever caused by a sinus issue as well as some screaming in his backswing leaving him with a frustrating 73.

But Tiger could not be denied. After his round Saturday he had this to say:

“I don’t know,” Woods said. “The winning score may not change from what it’s at right now, or it may go higher, may go lower. We don’t know. That’s the hard part about this golf course is there’s so many demanding holes that anything can happen.”

Those vague, uninspiring words don’t illustrate the desire behind Tiger’s eyes when he made that statement. His lips said, “Boring, lame, lame, golf cliché, snooze, blah.” But his eyes were saying, “I’m gonna treat this course tomorrow like I treated my wife, family, and fans; I’m gonna own it, aleniate it, and confuse it with a weird Nike commercial where I just stare blankly at the camera while the disembodied voice of my deceased father speaks some words of wisdom.” Now that might not be exactly what his eyes were saying, but I think I’m in the ballpark.

Anyway, the rich get richer and the field gets smaller. See you next week at the St. Jude Classic!! I bet there will be some golf shots that are good and some that are bad, but who knows.

 

 


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